..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
