a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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