what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
