Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
