Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
