i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
