do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Randomize
