wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Randomize
