on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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