Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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