so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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