Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
