Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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