still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
