so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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