Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize