They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
