Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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