Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
