I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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