I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
