she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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