Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I could fuck to npr.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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