I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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