well you can't waste a boner
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
