it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I see more hoeing in ur future
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