It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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