At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
