I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
