In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
