I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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