if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
