We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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