I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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