i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize