Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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