i can't believe i had my finger in that
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
