It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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