He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
