i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
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