i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
