I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
