Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
this will be a night to untag.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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