Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I just blew my weed a kiss
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Randomize
