What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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