Nicole vs. Life
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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