Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
