Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
third nipple confirmed
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
