So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize