Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
