Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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