It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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