How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize