I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
