im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
