She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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