my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize