Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
