I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
