oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize