I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
