As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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