before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Rumble strips road head = magical
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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