Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
