I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize